Thursday, October 28, 2010

Halloween Movie Help...

Need some movie ideas for this weekend?  Well, it wouldn't be Halloween without a horror flick, so I pulled together all of the movies I've reviewed on this blog and categorized them depending on what you might be in the mood for.  Oh, you could just play it safe and watch The Exorcist or A Nightmare on Elm Street for the millionth time, but why not crawl out of your comfort zone (it is Halloween, you know) and give these a try?

So whether you want ghosts or gore or grins, you'll find something here to suit your tastes.  Forgive the length of this post, but I'm only thinking of you.  Therefore, without further ado...

The following list of eight contains idiot-proof selections.  All are excellent, and unless you're already dead yourself, they'll get a rise out of you:

The Crazies - Virus/zombie flick.  Slick, fast, well done.  The morgue scene and the car wash scene..yeah, those got me. 
Splinter - Parasite/zombie flick.  Back to basics horror.  You won't be able to sit still. 
Shutter - Angry spirit flick.  Thai horror and my personal favorite.  Don't get the American remake.
Baghead - Slasher flick.  I don't like slasher films, but this low-budget gem turns the sub-genre on its ear.
Dog Soldiers - Monster flick.  British horror done with tension and humour.  A bloody good time.
Dorm - Ghost flick.  Thai horror about a lonely boy and the spirit that befriends him.
Below - Angry spirit flick.  Ghost story set on a submarine.  Supernatural claustrophobia. 
Deathwatch - Angry spirit flick.  British horror set in a WWI German trench.  Billy Elliot's in it!  (Jamie Bell)

This next batch is for those of you who might prefer grins instead of gore: 

Infestation - Giant bug flick.  Casual, breezy PG-13ish horror.  Probably the most family-friendly film of the whole lot.
Bubba Ho-tep - Elvis vs. mummy flick.  The strangest plot of the lot, but it's got Bruce Campbell playing the King so who cares?  Goofy fun.
I Sell the Dead - Zombie flick.  Who knew grave-robbing could be such a good time?  Lots of famous actors in this one.
Vampire Killers - Lesbian vampire flick.  British horror in the same vein as Shaun of the Dead.  I laughed so hard I nearly peed. 

And for those of you who prefer the gore: 

Dead Alive - Zombie flick.  The most gory film I've ever seen, and that's saying something. 
Zombies of Mass Destruction - Zombie flick (duh).  Not the greatest but there's creative gore.
Sutures - Torture flick.  My least favorite sub-genre (think Saw or Hostel) but the story's interesting and the twists...surprising. 
Automaton Transfusion - Zombie flick.  Classic zombie carnage and one of my all time favs. 
Mum & Dad - Torture flick.  British horror that's just flat-out disturbing. 
Feast - Monster flick.  Fun, furious, phantasmagorical, fright-fest. 
Dead Snow - Zombie flick.  Norwegian skiiers vs. a battalion of Nazi zombies.  What's not to love?

The following three seriously screw with your mind:

Afterlife - Ghost flick.  Liam Neeson is a funeral director who sees dead people.  Or does he?
Dead Birds - Ghost flick.  Civil War-era criminals holed up in a haunted house in the middle of nowhere.  Maybe it's not haunted.  Maybe...
The Broken - Zombie flick (sort of).  People killed and replaced by their reflections that live on the other side of the mirror.  Trippy.

The next bunch are safe bets if you can't find any of the ones previously listed:

Spirit of the Glass - Ghost flick.  Filipino horror involving a ouija board and a familiy secret.
Silk - Angry spirit flick.  Asian horror with the usual cliches:  creepy boy with pale skin and psycho woman with long black hair hiding her face.
The New Daughter - Angry spirit flick.  Kevin Costner and an ancient Indian burial ground.  Ironic, no?
The Skeptic - Haunted house flick.  Don't let Tom Arnold scare you away.
Severed - Zombie flick.  Undead tree-huggers and lumberjacks.  This one's dead serious, though.
Pontypool - Zombie flick.  Very different and very tense.  Something Hitchcock might have made.
The Objective - Sci-fi horror.  Classified mission where the soldiers get picked off one by one.  But by what?
Open Graves - Witchcraft flick.  A group of pretty people feel compelled to mess around with a Satanic board game.  Their stupidity is rewarded.

Okay.  Now, this final group of films are to be avoided as if they've been sprayed down with the Ebola virus and then dried with a radioactive towel.  Run screaming from these stinkers, but if you feel the need to see for yourself how truly bad they are, remember this - you were warned: 

Beast Within - I've seen better acting in pornos.  Uh, not that I've ever seen a porno, mind you...
Ninjas vs. Zombies - Should be illegal to have a title this cool but a movie this awful.
Troll - Bad 80s horror.  Really bad.  And not so bad it's good, either.
Retardead - Seriously, I fell asleep.
Growth - Slow and stupid parasite-taking-over-the-human-body flick. 
The Entrance - A Saw wannabe that just ends up being pointless.  And not scary.
Dead Wood - The British can make a bad horror movie.  Here's one now.
Legend of the Bog - It's just...I mean...the acting and the story are...argh!  I wish this could have been lost in a bog. 

There you are.  Plenty to choose from and some to steer clear of.  If you want more detailed info on a particular movie, scroll back through the older posts to find my full review. 

So what horror movie will I be watching this weekend?  Well, I just learned the Greek zombie flick I've been talking about is on its way to my house as I type this.  It's entitled Evil and is the first zombie film to come out of the land of Plato and Socrates.  It's exciting!  Yeah, I'm a nerd.  Hush.


  1. wow thats a cool bunch of lisings thanks for that , I wonder how many are available here in Australia :)

  2. Hi. Thanks for the comment. I'm not sure about availability down under. I think Netflix is just in the U.S. right now, but you could check the link "Watch Horror Movies Online For Free" in the right-hand column in this blog. I know for a fact The Crazies is available on that site. Good luck!