Sunday, June 13, 2010

Horror Film Reviews

My son and I watched three horror movies this weekend. Yes, the psychic/medium came over and spent almost three hours in the house last night, but I need some time to gather my thoughts as to how to best explain what happened. In the meantime...

The Entrance (2006): I'd forgotten I've seen this one before. I find myself doing that lately. Usually it's much to my disappointment because if I can't remember that I've watched a particular movie before, then it stands to reason the movie was not memorable. The Entrance is case in point. It commits one of the cardinal sins of horror movie making: it's slow. The acting is just fine and production values acceptable. The story...think if Jigsaw from Saw was a demon and you get an idea. The problem, of course, is that even though it sure sounds cool, it doesn't take much to screw it up. And screw they did. The ending? One of those that piss me off. My advice? Go watch Saw again.  Rating:  2 out of 5

Dead Wood (2007): Brit flick with four friends going on a camping trip deep into the woods (I swear, Sam Raimi should get a percentage of every film that rips off Evil Dead). Anyway, they run into a nearly catatonic camper who's boyfriend has disappeared and take her in. That's when members of their own group begin to go missing. I will give credit for some seriously spooky night camera work but beyond that, the acting is, well, wooden, and there's precious little gore. What exactly is knocking off the campers and why is never fully explained. I'm not sure I cared by the end. Speaking of which...the ending? It had the perfect ending until, like so many horror directors do, they screwed it up. My advice? Go watch Evil Dead again.  Rating:  2 out of 5

Legend of the Bog (2009): This movie could have been pretty cool. It's not. First of all, it doesn't know what it wants to be. In the beginning, it had some decent humor and a good idea taken from Irish folklore involving ancient ritual burial of outcasts and criminals in the bogs (like a swamp/quicksand hybrid). Six stranded people end up in a small cabin in the middle of the bogs (cha-ching Mr. Raimi) but then it all goes stupid. The murderous "bog-man" who rises from the dead is meant to be taken seriously, I think. Good luck. Think Peter Boyle as the monster in Young Frankenstein. Then there's Mr. Hunter played by Vinnie Jones who hunts down the occasional reanimated bog-person. He does his best but since it's impossible for us to take his enemy seriously, it's all for nothing. There's an odd subplot about how everyone stranded at the cabin has accidentally killed somebody in their past. Honestly, it's all a mess...a bog, if you will. The ending? It's ok, but you won't care by the time you get there. My advice? Go watch Evil Dead again.  Rating:  1 out of 5

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