Horror Film Review

The Rig (2010):  Yet another morality tale wrapped in the guise of a horror film.  Egad.  The premise is pretty obvious from the JAWS-inspired movie poster.  Any similarities between Steven Spielberg's masterpiece and The Rig, however, end there.

A remote-controlled submersible trains a camera on a drill head as it nears the ocean floor.  Once the drill makes contact, a glowing purplish mist is released.  Suddenly we see big teeth approaching the camera and then all goes black.  A hurricane is approaching the rig so all non-essential personnel are evacuated.  The storm knocks out communications so those remaining are on their own.  Look up 'horror movie cliches' in the dictionary and it will say, "Watch The Rig." 

Make no mistake, this is a "pick-'em-off-one-by-one" flick but instead of focusing on making the stalking and killing aspect as tense and scary as possible, the filmmakers try to make us care about the characters' relationships with each other.  It's B-horror...we don't care about dysfunctional family dynamics or who loves whom.  We want to see a monster killing in new and extraordinary ways.  Carnage should be key, not whether the boss knows his daughter is boinking one of the rig workers or whether another worker's younger brother is whining about always being in his shadow.  And the monster?  In JAWS, Spielberg opted not to show his shark very often in order to increase tension.  Thing is, you need good acting, directing, and a good screenplay to make that work.  Speaking of which...

Breakdown

Acting:  Well, it's not embarrassingly bad.  For the most part. 
Story:  Been there, done that.  And it's been done much better (think Alien). 
Direction:  Haphazard.  You don't get that claustrophobic feeling that's necessary for a flick like this. 
Production Values:  Some of the interior scenes look like they were filmed in a cheap motel.  At least the film stock isn't from the 70s. 
Gore:  There is some good blood, I will admit that.  And they made an effort to make it look very real. 
Ending:  All I can say is that a couple of people live. 
Verdict:  Should you see it?  Um, no.  Even with low expectations, the two horror movies I saw this weekend disappointed.  Next weekend I hope to watch The Horde.  It's a French zombie flick that I've been waiting to see for quite a while.  What better way to get into the Christmas spirit?

My Rating:  1 out of 5