I am what you might call a Horror movie buff. God, I love ‘em. From The Exorcist to The Blair Witch Project, The Haunting of Hill House to any zombie film of any kind. I have yet to sit myself down and analyze exactly why I’m so enamored of all this blood, gore, and nastiness. And I’m certainly not going to do it now. No, what I’m on about today is the lamenting of the slow, painful, and sadly, bloodless, death of the American Horror film. Oh, they are still made. After a fashion. Most very badly. And that’s my real complaint. I recently watched Cabin Fever 2. Sweet Jesus in a cucumber patch…that was arguably the worst one I have ever had the misfortune to set eyes on, and that is saying quite a lot given the sheer tonnage of of the dreck I’ve viewed in my lifetime. If I hadn’t been watching it with my son, I’d have turned it off and done something more fun. Like testing the new weed-whacker out on my shins. How can they get it so wrong, so often? After Cabin Fever 2, we watched Train, a better written, acted, and produced film but still cookie-cutter, torture porn. Many a flick suffers from low production values, but that’s not an excuse. Blair Witch is case-in-point. (Many of you will be screaming about Paranormal Activity right about now. I’m sorry, but it was like watching an extended episode of Ghost Hunters only without the suspense). Or as with Train, high production values, boring story. It is unbelievably maddening. I will admit, though, that I did see one last weekend that I found not awful. It’s called Blood Creek. Well acted, decent production values, original story. That’s all I ask for. How hard could it be? Well, like most folks upon hearing a crazed person ranting on about how horrible something is, I’m sure you’re saying, “So do something about it.” And I have. I discovered a new source of Horror that out-scares just about everybody out there (even the Japanese). Thailand. Thai Horror is in its most pure, raw form done correctly and even lovingly. They just get it. If you can, watch Shutter (no, not American remake) and then come and tell me you didn’t scream like a little girl and nearly wet yourself. So to American movie makers I say this, go watch some Thai Horror to help you remember how to scare the hell out of us. Please?
Rating for Cabin Fever 2: 0 out of 5
Rating for Train: 2 out of 5
Rating for Blood Creek: 4 out of 5