Saturday, August 23, 2014

Horror Film Review

Kill Zombie! (2012):  The Netherlands' answer to Shaun of the Dead, this zom-com had been unfairly prejudged by many idiot reviewers.  And by idiot reviewers I mean me.  Some day I'll learn that the most pleasant surprises come from the damnedest places.  Zombies in Amsterdam.  How could that not work?

The Russian space station has fallen from its orbit, broken up, and slammed into Amsterdam.  A funky, pus-like green goo hitched a ride and subsequently infected the population with an illness that...ah, you know.  It's interesting because zombies usually only splattered with red are now splattered with red and green.  Brings to mind Christmas.  Well, not really, but the colors do go together fabulously. 

Aziz (Yahya Gaier) is the suit-wearing Everyman of the picture who loses his office job when his asshole boss fires him because the office hottie Tess (Nadia Poeschmann) takes a shine to him.  Jealously is an ugly thing.  So is the boss.  Anyway, Aziz meets up with his slacker brother Mo (Mimoun Ouled Radi) at a swanky pool party where they accidentally start a fight with two gentlemen from Senegal, Jeffrey (Sergio Hasselbaink) and Nolan (Uriah Arnhem).  All four are in jail when the space station hits.  The largest chunk, by the way, just happened to crash into the top of Aziz's old office building.  Their jailer is the unbelievably beautiful and unbelievably badass Kim (Gigi Ravelli - what a cool name).  After an ill-fated and hilarious attempt to rob a bank (Mo's looking for capital to start a business), the group decides to follow Aziz who's determined to rescue Tess because Tess called begging for rescue.  They steal an army Humvee, discover a cache of suitable zombie-killing weaponry, and head for the zombie-infested office building.  Turns out, though, Tess called everyone from the office she's flirted with on account that Tess is a slut.  Aziz is understandably bummed.  Now trapped in a building that's going to be blown up by a Russian scientist/commando (don't ask), our intrepid heroes must fight their way out before it's too late.  Dramatic, no?

Some cool things to consider:  Nolan manages to get his hands stuck in bowling balls.  Yeah, you see the potential, don't you?  Jeffrey gets his hands on a mini gun (think Jesse Ventura in Predator but instead of jungle foliage, it's zombies).  The ensuing slaughter is...just...groovy.  Also, it turns out that the green goo has a high octane so occasionally a zombie's head will burst into flames.  Again...groovy.  The humor is consistent and I found myself periodically laughing out loud.  That almost never happens.  The scene with Jeffrey and a Taser...comedy gold. 

The Skinny

Acting:  It's always difficult for me to gauge performances done in foreign languages (yes, deal with the subtitles).  All I can say is that no one stood out as awful.  Except the Russian dude.  He was pretty bad.
Story:  Some clever tweaks to the classic zombie tale.  By the way, these zombies are Romero-slow zombies.
Direction:  There is a hiccup or two but nothing to get your knickers in a twist over.  When your expectations are low, forgiveness comes easy.
Production Values:  The film was shot in Amsterdam for half a million euros.  They certainly made the budget stretch because it looks great. 
Gore/FX:  Now here's where the movie shines.  Blood and gore and green pus aplenty.  The CGI is extensive and damned impressive. I've never seen so many head explosions done so well for so little.  It's a veritable cornucopia of carnage. 
Scares:  Nah.  Not attempted and honestly, not necessary.
Ending:  A twist, to be sure.  One word...vampires.
Verdict:  Should you see Kill Zombie!?  Why, yes.  Yes you should.  It may not have the polish or dead-on satire like Shaun, but it's fun, funny, and chockablock full of gleeful bloodletting.  Who can say 'no' to that? 

Rating:  4 out of 5


  1. I am totally grossed out --- and laughing my sides off. Thanks for a good laugh review.

  2. Grossed out...that's a good thing, right?