Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Horror Film Review

Zombie Hunter (2013):  This was not the best horror flick of 2013.  Shocking, I know.  But...the filmmakers were clever.  They shamelessly constructed a B-grade gorefest that comes off as satire.  It has to be satire.  Why?  Because no one could make a movie so eye-rollingly bad by accident. 

A new drug has hit the streets replacing ecstasy and meth as the high du jour.  Side effects?  It makes you an undead cannibal psychopath.  And also turns your blood into a rather fetching shade of fuchsia.  A year later, the world's decimated.  The few non-undead humans remaining struggle for survival.  One is Hunter (Martin Copping), the quiet loner tough guy who drinks a bottle of tequila for breakfast and sneers a lot.  He encounters a disparate, desperate group of folks led by axe-wielding, badass priest Father Jesus (Danny Trejo).  Their plan is to reach a nearby air base, find a plane, and relocate to an uninhabited island off the California coast.  Standing in their way is the town of Dahmer, home to alive people who've taking to eating zombie meat.  Rousted by a surprise zombie attack, Hunter and the gang flee to Dahmer where they encounter an insane clown brandishing a bloodied chainsaw.  More fleeing brings them to the air base and the final battle, albeit a short one, begins. 

If you try to make sense of the plot you'll just wind up with a migraine so don't bother.  It's like this...what the hell are those ten-foot tall monster things?  Why inject a serial killer subplot into a zombie movie?  (A giggling clown, no less.  Giggling!)  How does Hunter live through an explosion fueled by aviation petrol, kicked off by a grenade?  We don't get answers and are left feeling like we missed an act somewhere.  Nevertheless, thanks to the Grindhouse vibe you forgive most of the stupid stuff, such as:  Did we really need the pole dancing?  Or the blood splattering on the camera lens with each zombie kill?  Or a town named Dahmer?  Honestly...

The Skinny

Acting:  Whether by design or not, it's quite bad.  Copping delivers his lines through clenched teeth as if half asleep and partially drugged.  His monotone voiceovers do him no favors.  As usual, it's fun to watch Trejo chew on the scenery. 
Story:  It's a basic post-apocalyptic, zombie tale save for the giggling clown bit.  Seriously, what the hell were those monsters?  They look like the Hulk with his skin removed.
Direction:  Not terribly inspired.  The second act lag is glaring.
Production Values:  No budget info, but it's predictably low grade.  Film instead of video, so it's got that going for it.
Gore/FX:  Over the top bloody with enough viscera and beheadings to make hardcore fans dance with glee.  The CGI is too obvious. 
Scares:  Nada.
Ending:  It's a head-scratcher.  What, exactly, is Hunter?
Verdict:  Should you see Zombie Hunter?  If you enjoy the B-grade schlock and can switch off the part of your brain that controls rational thought, then it just might be the film for you.

Rating:  2 out of 5

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