Saturday, January 8, 2011

Horror Film Review

Hide and Creep (2004):  Zombie flick!  I saw this the other day using the Netflix "Watch Instantly" option.  Now, if Last of the Living was low-budget, Hide and Creep is positively subterranean.  Yeah, it's pretty bad.  So bad that it knocks on the door of so-bad-it's-good.  I will say, however, that I feel the filmmakers went into this project with tongues in cheek, wanting to create a humorous homage to the zombie genre.  If you look at it that way, much can be forgiven.  Much but not all.

The opening credits are pretty funny.  It's a video store clerk on the phone with a customer who's looking to rent a zombie movie.  The clerk has to explain Evil Dead isn't a true zombie movie (those were demons) and that the only "real" zombie movies were made by George A. Romero.  Like that.  For me, it's always a good sign when a low-budget horror film doesn't take itself too seriously.  After that...

So there's this naked guy in a, this isn't the start of a joke.  It's how the actual movie begins.  Why is he there sans clothing?  Something about butt-probing aliens that's never really made clear.  We are treated to full frontal make nudity, however.  Given who's naked, though, this is not a selling point.  The movie takes place in Thorsby, Alabama and follows two main story lines, one involving a group of redneck friends and the other a group of slacker-ish friends.  There's also a subplot involving a local minister and his church but following it is like Wile E. Coyote following the broken white line into a rock wall.  Painful and ultimately pointless.

What happens, action-wise?  Oh, there's running and screaming and shooting...and eating.  I watched this movie just the other day, but the motivations behind the actions of the slacker group and the redneck group are murky.  I remember what happens but not why.  Not exactly a good sign.  No matter.  It's a zombie flick.  It's not like I was expecting Tennessee Williams...

The Breakdown 

Acting:  I've seen better acting in pornos.  Awful?  Yes.  Cringe-inducing?  Yes.  It's the first time I've ever said to myself that I could do a better job as an actor (I was in a couple of high-school plays).  Only Keith, played by Kyle Holman, does fairly well.  The naked guy is probably next best (he does put clothes on eventually). 
Story:  Disjointed.  I said main storylines earlier.  There are others but they don't really gel.  Direction:  Some interesting camera work.  Otherwise, the direction is almost cohesive. 
Production Values:  About what you'd expect.  I think a lot of friends donated their houses and places of business for location shots.  Lighting and sound is acceptable.  The film stock was probably purchased at a dollar store. 
Gore/FX:  I've seen better makeup at the local Zombie Walk but at least an effort was made for the gunshot and biting effects.  No exceptional splatter or head destruction, though. 
Ending:  Half stupid, half funny.  This is one of those rare times I would have been ok with no survivors. 
Verdict:  Should you see Hide and Creep?  If you like so-bad-they're-good horror films or zombie movies in general, then I say give it a go.  I've said it before and I'll say it again...low expectations, man.  Low expectations.

My Rating:  1 out of 5

No comments:

Post a Comment