Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Horror Film Review

Beyond the Wall of Sleep (2006):  When I come to power, I will make it a felony to use H.P. Lovecraft's name in vain.  It's classic bait-and-switch where they hook you by using the horror master's name and then you find out too late it's been attached to an utter pile of cinematic crapola.  I was not amused.  Actually, I can't remember being more pissed off after watching a movie.  Well...The Last Exorcism, Cabin Fever 2, and Paranormal Activity (three of the stinkiest I've ever seen) came pretty close.

So why does it suck?  Oh, the reasons are myriad and legion despite the interesting premise:  a mountain man, locked up in an insane asylum for murdering his family, becomes the obsession of an intern with ulterior and, of course, dark motives.  Something to do with tapping into the evil lurking within the killer.  Or some such nonsense.  You see, the problem is you never really know what the hell is going on.  And when I saw Tom Savini appear on the screen as the sheriff, I knew I was truly doomed.  Don't get me wrong.  Tom's a special effects artist. As an actor, he's right up there with Joe Estevez [shudder].


Acting:  As bad as it is, it's not the worst thing about this movie. 
Story:  The narrative thread is about cohesive as a bag of wet gerbils. 
Direction:  So disjointed and bizarre that I'm convinced directors Barrett Leigh and Thom Maurer were treating their ADD with peyote. 
Production Values:  The film looks cheap, feels cheap, and after watching it, I felt cheap.  The lighting is awful.  It was like watching it through scummy swamp water.  I don't know what the budget was, but if it was more than a few grand, the filmmakers got some 'splaining to do. 
Gore/FX:  A few buckets of well-placed blood could have at least partially redeemed this picture but alas, it was not to be. 
Scares:  About as scary as a bag of wet gerbils.
Ending:  It can't possibly matter.
Verdict:  Should you see Beyond the Wall of Sleep?  I wouldn't wish this movie on Hitler. 

Rating:  0 out of 5

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