Stop, think....

I was driving on an interstate highway today. Every few miles, I encountered a sign in the ditch on which were printed the words "Stop" and "Think" positioned around a large X (as in X marks the spot). On the other side of the sign (which you'd only be able to see if you decided to drive illegally against oncoming 75 mph traffic) is the the question, "Why die?" I have a great many problems with these signs. They mark the site where someone has died in a car accident and are put there as a reminder to wear your seatbelt. First of all, putting up a sign like this is insulting to the memory of the victim. It's essentially saying, "Look, you idiot, if you'd been wearing your seatbelt, you'd still be alive." Second, the print on the sign is small, and if you're going 75 mph and decide you'd better read it, you'll be taking your eyes off the road for at least five seconds. Consequently, you won't be able to keep from plowing into the moron in front of you who has decided to suddenly slow down. Or more likely, you won't be able to stop from mowing down a deer. Third, the sign assumes you have the IQ of a turnip. "Why die?" Really? How many folks will manage to read both sides of the sign and then say to themselves, "Gee, I didn't know that not wearing my seatbelt makes me suicidal. I didn't realize I wanted to die. By golly, I'd better buckle up!" And finally, if a loved one of mine died in a car accident and the people in charge of public safety planted a patronizing sign at the site, and if I had to drive by that sign every day, I think I may get a little upset. So here's the deal, if I die in a car accident I want it known to God and everybody that they had better not put up one of those signs. Call me crazy, but a rusting, intelligence-insulting metal post is not what I'd call a fitting memorial. And if they do it anyway, I'll come back and haunt the crap out of them.