Monday, December 6, 2010

And Now For Something Completely Different...

There's this squirrel, see.  Every morning I come into the kitchen and look out the window into the back yard.  There's a huge ornamental apple tree twenty feet from the house.  Its leaves have long since fallen but the apples, little things the size of marbles, remain firmly attached.  So every day I wake up and peer out the kitchen window.  And every day that I do, I see this fat squirrel perched precariously on a branch and munching on marble-sized apples.  When I say "fat" I mean puffy, like the animal had accidentally sat on the business end of a tire pump.  I thought about naming him Arnold Schwarzen-squirrel but settled on Tubby.  He'll climb out onto a branch and it immediately bends to what must be near the breaking point.  Undeterred, Tubby snatches the sought-after apple, scoots back to more stable footing, and digs in as if he's starving.  Who knows?  Maybe he is starving...maybe he has a glandular disorder.  Or more logically, maybe he's building up his body fat to survive the winter.  So I'll stand at the window, half asleep and half something else, and watch Tubby perform feats of derring-do just so he can stuff his face with mini apples that taste god-awful (don't ask me why I tried one). 

Why am I telling you this on a blog that's supposed to recount the paranormal activity in my haunted house and supply reviews of horror movies?  Sometimes life is more interesting than a phantom footfall or brain-sucking zombie.  Sometimes it's the innocuous details taken for granted that have the most to teach us about ourselves and the world in which we live.  The simplicity of survival, the inherent beauty in nature following its own path despite what we hairless apes think is humbling and should make us rethink our priorities.  Does this mean I'm going to stop writing about my house or scary movies?  Oh, hell no.  It just means that I'll appreciate the fact that I can.  Sure beats hanging in a tree and eating sour apples... 


  1. Hey Nathan, you write it, we'll read it. At least I know I will. Be kind to that cute little (well..) squirrel. Tubby must enjoy getting a little attention, but please don't take his god-awful apples away. There is something so charming about stuffed little cheeks! I applaud your giving Tubby the respect he deserves. Keep writing.


  2. Nate-
    It's always good to remember the little things or the little ones that occupy our surroundings,one thing I do hate to see is when driving around any town and see our little poofy-tailed friends ran over by cars.
    I got my dad at his place to feed the wild turkeys, squirrels and birds, they are life's little enjoyments.